Monday, December 15, 2008

Words of Wisdom for Wives

When I married Mark, the women in his church hosted a shower/welcome party for me. The hostess asked each woman to write her favorite recipes, as well as some words of wisdom for marriage, on recipe cards. They were presented to me as a gift. I still keep the cards in my recipe box, so I see them often. I want to share some of the things those wives wrote. I think it was pretty good advice!

* Communicate, communicate, and communicate some more. It is a key ingredient to a successful marriage.

* Read "The Excellent Wife," by Martha Peace.

* Strive to be a Proverbs 31 wife. Love your husband and do loving things for him, even when you do not feel like doing so. The tone/mood of the wife/mother sets the tone/mood for the entire house.

* Seek help, guidance, and counsel from other godly women. Do not think you have to do it all or figure everything out yourself.

* Be an encourager to your husband! Isaiah 50:4 -- "The sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught."

* Proverbs 15:1 -- "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." These words are so important in a family. They promote peace between husband and wife, parent and child. They stave off many an argument. They open the heart and ears of the other person to hear you speak instead of making him more defensive. These words are hard to follow in the heat of an argument or when you are sure you are correct, or when a child is very irritating or extra disobedient, or when relatives force their two cents of advice on you, or when friends rebuke and correct an action or attitude. These words are well worth keeping at the front of your mind -- a soft answer.

It is easy in the busyness of day to day living to forget these and other important truths that protect our marriages and families. It is important to be reminded of them, however. Even after 4 1/2 years, I still feel so new at being a wife and mother. I still feel like I am trying to figure it all out, and just keeping everyone fed and clothed is sometimes a challenge, much less tending to spiritual needs and trying to be a role model. I fail daily, but I keep trying, and I keep asking for God's grace and mercy.

I also try to keep in mind that Proverbs 21 says it is better for a man to dwell in the corner of the rooftop than to share his home with a contentious woman. When I am tempted to nag (or after I have nagged!) about dirty clothes that don't make it to the laundry basket, or water left on the sink after teeth are brushed, or other matters of equal importance, I try to ask if I am driving my husband to the rooftop. Yes, I want him to do his part in keeping the house picked up, but I need to honor him as well. It is a delicate balance, one I am still trying to acquire. Again, I keep asking for grace and mercy. I am not an excellent wife or mother, but I long to be.

Perhaps you have other words of wisdom to share regarding marriage or family. I would certainly love to hear them.



Bonnie the Boss said...

Thanks for this post. My husband and I are really struggling right now, I needed the reminder.
Plus I agree with you on the skiing! 13 is not old enough to spend the day without adult supervision.

Beverly said...

I will pray for you, Bonnie. Marriage is hard, even on the best days, isn't it?


angie said...

Wonderful post.

Just stopping by to say hi - under you at SITS roll call!

Tiffany said...

Great post! Most of the time the Prov. 31 wife drives me crazy because it sounds so unattainable. I don't want my husband to end up on the roof top though!

rainydaymichele said...

Just wanted to stop by and thank you for visiting my blog!

I enjoyed your post very much. Thank you for encouraging us in caring for our marriages as they are worth the investment!


Tiffany said...

Hey, I saw you on the SITS blogroll! Cool! I wanted to let you know that I put up a writing prompt for haiku or other poetry on my writing blog. I thought you might want to play along, or maybe your oldest daughter might want to give it a try.